Experimental Writing

          The last time my father watched me make a speech was at my middle school graduation. I was only fourteen, and to be honest, I don’t even remember my opening line. The only thing I remember were the tears in my father’s eyes at the end as he embraced me. The sound of his voice when he told me how much he loved me, and how proud he was to be my father.

          What I hope my dad knows today is how proud I am to be his daughter. There are no words I could possibly say to describe how incredible of a father he was. He was my rock, my role model, and my protector. He was the shoulder I cried on when I felt alone, and the lap I sat on as a little girl. It was his hand I held when I did badly on my psychology test freshman year, and it was his ear I always bent for advice. He was my daddy, and I was his little girl.

          My dad was not only always there for me, but he went above and beyond for me. He was my biggest fan, and he did everything in his power to help me shine. I still remember when I was only six years old, and just beginning my thirteen-year long soccer career. My dad was the coach of my intramural team. I had scored 6 goals, and my team was winning 8 to 0. The referee came up to my dad and asked that our team make three passes before we were allowed to score again. Keep in mind that this was intramural soccer for kindergarteners, and that this was a very reasonable, sportsmanlike, and appropriate request. Well, not in the mind of my dad. For him, this was an absolutely preposterous proposition. He told me right then and there to never let anyone or anything stand in my way. To keep going whenever anyone tried to hold me back. Even a teenage referee. He told me that I had the potential to not only be good, or great even, but to be the best. That if I worked hard and put my mind to it, I could do absolutely anything. I could shine brighter than the sun, and I would always make him proud. I was his star, his daughter, his angel. His beautiful little girl.

            I scored two more goals that day before the other team forfeited from exhaustion.My family and I always joke about how my dad berated the poor referee, and how it was only a soccer game. But what I hope my dad knows is that the only reason I won the game that day, and the only reason I shine so brightly today, is because of him. He has always been my biggest fan, and he has always believed in me. He was the loudest father on my soccer team’s sidelines, and drove all over the east coast to take me to every one of my basketball games. He was the dad who spent hours outside with me and my brother each Sunday shooting hoops, and one of the only fathers I know to go to all of their children’s teacher conferences. He was the dad who always came home for dinner, and who picked me up even at 3 in the morning from my friends’ houses. He was the dad who worked so hard to give us everything. He was the father who was always behind me, backing me up every step of the way.

          But beyond being my biggest supporter, he was also my inspiration. Everyone who knows me tells me I am just like my father. That we look alike. That I have his eyes. But what they may not know is that I also have his vision; that I filter life in the same way he does. That we understood each other in a way no two human beings quite comprehend. I knew everything he was thinking, and I wanted to be just like him. Everything I do in life is for him, and the times I am happiest are when I make him proud. He is the reason I work so hard, and the reason I want to be a lawyer. I want to be just like him, because he was the smartest and greatest man that I know. He was a true leader, and above all, he had passion. Passion for his work, for his friends, and most importantly, for his family. I think that a lot of his passion lives on in me, and that is the reason I am so strong. And that is the reason I know we will be okay. Because my father has helped to make me, my brother, and my mom who we are today. We are strong because of him. And we will live each and every day for him in his memory.

           My dad had many dreams in life that I know he will not get the chance to fulfill. He wanted to retire alongside my mother. They had the truest love I’ll ever know, and every moment they shared was filled with raw passion. My dad also wanted to attend mine and my brother’s weddings. To be a grandfather. He lived for the day when I would get into law school, when I would pass the bar, and when I would win my first case. Well, I promise you, I will do all of those things. And I will do them for him. I will continue to score. I will keep “driving the lane,” as he always told me to in basketball. I won’t let anyone or anything stop me. I will keep shining, and I will be his star. And when I win my first case, it will be for him. Because he still and always will be my inspiration, and my hero. I will always be his biggest fan. And I will work every day to make him proud. To be the best that I can be. His goal scorer. His Sarah Barah. His little girl.

 

 

 

 

Commentary:

 

My father passed away unexpectedly on February 10, 2014.  I received the news a few hours before our last class.  Above is the eulogy I wrote and read at his funeral.  It is definitely not the best piece of writing I have ever produced, but both writing and reading it were the hardest things I have ever had to do.  I know that no one in this class knew my father, but he is a huge part of my life.  I feel it is very important to keep his memory alive, which is why I am choosing to post this extremely personal and meaningful piece of writing.