Experimental Writing

Original Poem:

Drinking Song (Moses Ibn Ezra, Granada, c. 1058-c. 1135)

Bring me that sickly-looking wineglass.

See, when I fill it

it becomes as ardent as a lover’s face

and chases off my beelzebubs.

 

Drink, my friend, and pass the beaker

So I may unburden myself

and if you see me going under

revive me with your minstrelsy.

 

 

Homophonic Inspired Translation:

Rinkings On

Ring meat hat sic-lee-lucky whine lass

                           Sticky-licking, why dance

                           Stick me, lovely wide gas

Sea. One eye felt it

         Won eyeful tit

          Un Eifel et!

It beacons and hardens, azure love her space

If bacon and jargon as another’s phase

                                    At a mother’s pace

                                                      Er     ase

                                                      Her   face

Encases soft mime eel Zabar’s!

Ranch aces awf my beal, say bubs!

 

Ring my fiend, enpass the bean curd

                            and pass the eater

                            and pass them taters

Sew eye may under end mai cell

End if ewe sea amigo in hunger

                           growing wonder

                    See me go down yonder

Re vie me with yeomen strell sea.

We write me wither menstrually.

Revise me with her mint,

                                       We’ll see.

 

 

Synonym Translation Using Roget’s Thesaurus and Thesaurus.com:

Potation Air

Fetch oneself lest ghastly-watching brandy balloon.

Behold, at which time I occupy oomph

oomph comes to be so passionate like an admirer’s frontal

also hustles away my Lucifer.

 

Absorb, my confidant, also hand the chalice

Thus I can unlade yours truly

Also namely if you spy oneself moving lower

Summon up oneself including your tin-pan alley.

 

 

Replacement Based on Word Length and First Letter

Draining Swan

Babka ma thai sabian-labarum wackiness.

Sea, warm I face in

If Babylon at aahing ah a lager’s flab

Art charms old ma, backgammon.

 

Delhi, mi fables, ace paltry tea bagels

Sew I moo unbuckle madmen

arc in, yes, sea my girth udder

ranchero my word, yoga macaronies.

 

Commentary:

             I was not able to translate a text from another language, since I do not speak any languages other than English. I thus decided to retranslate an English translation of a Hebrew poem from the fourth volume of “Poems for the Millennium” called “Drinking Song.” My first translation is a “homophonic inspired translation.” I created the poem based on the sound of the words of the original poem. However, I was not extremely strict in my word selection, and often chose words based on their rhythm or other characteristics rather than picking direct matches. I also enjoyed playing with homonyms and experimenting with the different way strings of words sounded when you eliminated breaths and spaces between them. I considered the word’s appearance as well, noting that “sticky” looked similar to “sickly” even if the two words did not necessarily sound exactly the same. By vertically juxtaposing several different word combinations that look or sound similar (i.e. lines 1, 2, and 3), I hope to express how words can be translated in many different ways, and each translation provokes a different feeling and meaning.

           In my second translation, I replaced each word of the original English translation of the poem with a synonym. I chose the specific synonym randomly, using a number generator to see which word I would pick from the list at hand. At first, I only planned to use Roget’s Thesaurus. However, out of curiosity, I also looked at the synonyms generated by Thesaurus.com, and was intrigued by some of their zanier options. I thus incorporated some of these as well when Roget’s Thesaurus lacked variety. For my final poem, I replaced each word of the original translation with a word of the same length and beginning with the same first letter. I again used an online site to generate a list of words fitting these specific criteria, and then used a number generator to randomly select each word from that list. The only exception to the rule is the word “Sew” on the sixth line, which has three letters instead of two. However, I again could not resist the urge to play a bit with homonyms.

 

 

 

Birthday Parties

Let’s bust open

the Piñata,

Jalapenos, Enchi

lladas

Spice and guac

Tres mar

garitas,

Trace, mark and

greet us

Wave then shake,

And quake and bake

Into the oven,

Hop the empan

adas, Ched-

dahs and

Munsters

Must you? Must

Her?

Miss her, mister?

Ooh paella

Ooze and ebb

Chee-

Sy webs

Of gush and goc,

Spice and guac

Wedged pools of goo and gwobby mess

Pools of orange in

My head

Track sticky paw prints

Through her bed

Of cottage cheese and

Yoghurt bliss

And curds of

Poddled pooridge-

swiss

Swiss, Suisse?

Quit meddling

In this.

And sinking in

My milky, melted,

Cabbage bits.

That irk and sway

In disarray.

Tares and shards

Of shredded bliss

And happi-

Ness.

Slice through

Her wrists.

Spreading clots of

cheesy bitter-

Ness.

Gutted bitter-

Ness.

Amidst shreds of yel-

low slips.

And pouted lips.

And polly-pocket

pink tissue blimps

That burst and blow

Radically Im-

Plode.

Dynamically Ex-

Plode.

Thoroughly Combust-

Ible.

She will not go.

But stays and dines

On grapes and wines

And sweet san-

Gria

Mulled marga-

ritas

guzzles and

gobbles

the jack peppah

pitted peppered

pieces of

puffed paper

that ebb and flow

glob and glut

from the

Enchill

Ada, pink piñata.

Sweet paella.

Smile for mama

In warm November

Always a member

Just remember

To say

Cheese.

 

You and Me

Ringlets

Goblets

Trinkets, tricycles, and

Typesets

Pitter Pat on the

Keys. Piano keys.

Pee and yo keys

Grab yo keys

On your knees!

Hands on knees,

No on me please.

Round my waist

Grab me close

And hold me chaste.

Kiss my chapped

Lips and garner me

With lace. Ripples of

Garnished wedding cakes.

And homespun dimpled,

Dappled cakes.

With crissed crossed

Icing butterflies and

Fluttered lines of lay

ered droplet tele

phone lines

That bind your

Ballet slippers

And coat your feet

In sweet encasings

And boisonberry pies.

Dot the eyes.

And cross your t’s

No, no let me!

Mommy, please!

Won’t you sing along

With me?

Now that I know my

ABC’S

Do, rei

Not me!

No, no let me!

Just chant and sing

Along with me

You chaste and young

Quite youthful thing

Upon your fian-

ce’s wedding ring

say sleigh bells ring.

On primped promp

Velveteen

And Florentine

Rabbit ears, and diamond

Spears that lick

Her rickety, retched gears.

And trip and tare

And sway, oh sweet

Sashays

Tip tap

Pada bu RAE

Sashay sa

SHAY

Up tondu ton

Repeat,

Repeat

Then sink your teeth

Into the fondue deli-

cacy!

Oeuvre oui, oui!

Who you?

No, me!

Please, please

Just eat, and have a

Peek

My sweet, petite

Beau to be

Just you and me.

My sweet,

Sweepea.

 

Commentary:

These final two poems were inspired by Joris’s poems in “Poasis.” I was inspired by his free-flowing style and incorporation of elements and phrases from different languages.  Even his poems that aren't translations seem to incorporate aspects of different cultures and the vocabulary of diverse peoples, including some nonsensical language.  Neither of these poems are translations, but I feel they incorporate the sounds, culture, and in some cases, vocabulary, of Spanish and French. It was particularly fascinating for me to see how these elements took new meaning when I combined them with English words and phrases.